Grief is a feeling of loss. It is primarily associated with the loss of a loved one upon his or her death. However, a loss does not only present itself with death. Grief can take many forms and appear in many circumstances. The feeling of loss can appear with shattered dreams or a shift in life’s trajectory. For example, learning that one will not bear children, parents who are given a child’s learning disability diagnosis, financial struggles, divorce, etc. The examples are endless because each individual has their own set of complexities and pain.
Everyone grieves differently, but here are some ways to start approaching the pain;
1. Acknowledge the grief. Validate your pain. You are entitled to feeling pain, even if your pain might seem smaller than someone else’s. Just because someone else has a harder life, does not take away from the fact that you have pain.
2. Feel the grief, mourn it so you can accept it. If we push it down or ignore it, we are not doing anyone any service. Mourning grief is a way of accepting that there has been a loss that will never be the same again. It is giving the loss and the pain the rightful place in your life. Often, we run away from pain and not accept the way the pain has infiltrated our lives. However, only once we have accepted it can we begin to deal with it in a healthy manner.
3. Slowly find a place in your life to place the pain. We do not move on from grief, we learn to find a place to keep it. With time, you will find how to integrate the pain into your daily life in a healthy manner.
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